1. |
Crashing (instrumental)
01:37
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instrumental
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2. |
Waves
02:25
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find yr heartbeat in the waves
water pressure beats on my brain
if we're all made of celestial debris,
i can fade into you,
so will you be me?
i want to crawl out of my body.
call it weird, natural
insult me
i dont know
what to believe
but while i shred apart;
lean on me
drown themselves and they're still embraced
i struggle simply to tread in place
i want to crawl
out of my body,
be done with this serious thing
what harm
will destruction bring?
can i float along
or will i sink?
i want to crawl
out of this body
detach from nerves,
liberate
from breathing
transcend
your calls
on my worth,
forget your esteem
it's hard to breathe around most anymore
don't abolish authenticity; there's no reward
constructed falsehoods that have formed the world
can still be deconstructed from their core
i want to crawl
out of this body
detach from nerves,
liberate
from breathing
transcend
your calls
on my worth,
forget yr esteem
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This song is about feeling like a totally removed and clumsy weirdo. It’s about wanting to get away from yr situation and transcend what may be expected of or said about you. When I mention destruction, i want to make it clear that i'm talking about destroying and deconstructing systems that hurt you.
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3. |
Displaced
02:32
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the pattern is forming faster now;
i'm out of it
we run parallel, i'm slightly lulled,
and now i'm calling it.
close my eyes and count to ten
i'm seeped in violet
slipping, slipping under now
finally i've found that
consciousness is mist;
i've missed the clarity i've found and
i think i know how i feel
i know everything
i think i'm so wrong
about everything
it was out of reach all along;
everything
absent minded care
when who i've cared for disappears
i'm overloaded by the love of others-
it distorts into fear.
i handled you with caution to gain some time.
i handle them with caution so i won't break what I don't want to be mine.
how big of a narcissist am i?
i thought i knew how i felt,
but still fell short of everything
was i wrong about or was i scared
of everything
i won't find out, i'll never solve
anything
-
This is about a dream i had which stemmed from the general feeling that things i care about have been significantly absent from my life. There is some language i used here that i don’t agree with (“be mine”) and it was included to criticize the language- not to promote it- language like this perpetuates the patriarchal notion that relationships are about owning and/or subordinating others.
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4. |
Apathy
01:52
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i admire your tendency to just shut off
because once i start, i can't stop.
my only hope is to completely exhaust,
overload, crash and fall apart.
i want to keep myself above apathy,
but this is what caring does to me
my hopeless resolve reveals only
masochistic tendencies
can't give it up, can't give it up
focus on fixing what exists only in my mind
-
I’m a very nervous person, and when i care about something (which is often) i put a lot of energy into caring about it. This can run me into problems- which this song explores. Despite what i say here, i think caring is so so much better (and cooler!) than apathy, even if i do worry myself sometimes.
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5. |
Colder
01:58
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habits based
off of how i've been treated
i try to change
but i don't feel like i mean it
as i've gotten colder
all i've wanted was to offer more
but that's not accepted
so i've come to accept it
in a world
that profits from breaking us down
self-care
is the most subversive thing you can do
habits based
off of the world you witness
don't know that change
is something you can live with
(i'll learn to say this without clichés)
-
We’re a product of our environments. Hate and mistreatment are learned behaviors. When we’re in a situation that’s not emotionally healthy for us for a long time, it can affect us significantly, and negatively. We might start hating ourselves, treating others badly, or becoming generally cynical towards the world around us. Don’t let yrself fall into these patterns. When i say “self care is the most subversive thing you can do” (subconsciously inspired by something Kathleen Hanna said in her April Fools Day zine, and some things Audre Lorde has said about self-care & self-preservation being an act of political warfare) i mean just that- love yourselves despite what the world has taught you, treat others right, and smash the institutions that tell you that you can’t.
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Paths Boston, Massachusetts
we are a band from just outside of boston, ma.
jonah- guitar
jaclyn- bass/vocals
matt- drums
get in touch with us: pathsma@gmail.com
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